So much pent up agression! ummm sure dood

Here is a message I recieved from a very demented guy, with too much hate and time on his hands. I recieved this on youtube....its hilarious...warning though, VERY GRAPHIC LANGUAGE

look u god damned emo shit faced mom pube bastard all i want to do is come through the fucking computer and kil u i dont even know why i hate your ass so much other then that that u look like a fucking horse. i honestly also think u talk so much it must be from your daddy shoven his fucking cock in your mouth or that boyfriend nigger of urs tyquon yeah i know niggers dicks r big but its just cause what they lack in brain goes to there dicks and they shoiuld work in my god damned fields anyways i think ur slightly retarted from the lights your momma use while she was filming u and your daddy fucking "old school" he said but getten fucked in the ass isnt old school bro its this new thing called pedifilia and its gonna be exactly what u ammount to u piece of shit emo kid i have litterally fucked girls like u always talking about "hard times" and how its not so bad but they just want fucking attention cause daddy played with their pussies to. oih and that girl u supposably fucked last night yeah well just do u know that was a guy that explains while he wouldnt let u fuckin him in the vagina cause he didnt have one bitch even tho u probably fucking already knew that i hateu and i hate nigger cause all u have in comon is that u sit on your ass and think your doing the right thing but really all we want u to do is fuckin gettin iin my god damn kitching and fucking clean did ur daddy abuse your mother cause if so he did the right thing im sorry if he abused u to but u kinda look like a pussy and u also look like u have a pussy i condone women abuse but i understand that u might not know what condone means considering daddy probably beat ur tiny ass when u were a little kid was he a drunk like your mother or did he commit suicide cause any fucking person that brought u into this fucking world should go kill themselves right now u know what in fact i wish your mom would commit suicide right now and make u clean it up cause that would be fucking perfect i hope u have a fucking beautiful little girl that some guy kidnaps rapes and then beats to death and then i hope he calls u and folds her up in a suitcase and lives her to fuckin rot in the town sewer and i hope u have to go fish her lifeless body ravaged by a dick out of the citys sewage i just hope they dont fuck her face up to bad so daddy can see her fucking face one last time cause i doubt u will be able to reconized her body. i truly wish i could kill u u sick emo fuckhead bastard. btw the next time u fuck with TestAmenT12341 ill send u a fucking book bitch now go suck daddys cock and dream about ur darling girls ravaged body

Lost in my own heart

I believe that I am falling, no correction, I HAVE fallen for this girl. But there is a catch...hehe, there always is huh? Im am sad to say that I think that I have fallen for the wrong girl at the wrong time, but for ALL the right reasons. My heart isn't confused w/ whether or not my emotions are true, they most certainly are. I really care for her, more than I thought I ever would, the only problem is the timing. So much is going on, I believe that I have entered into her life at the wrong time.....or maybe thats just how it seems, maybe its supposed to be this way. This inturn lies the problem...im so confused. I do know or sure that my feelings for her aren't wrong, not what so ever. As far as why/ how much/ or if she truly has feelings for me...only she knows...but she continues to give me the attention that keeps me involved, and more. I just worry that in the end after what I have tried to do, I will fall short of a minor success....am I helping her in anyway? What impact am I really having on her life? What difference do/ have I made in her life? Does she event need/want me around whilst she is going through her own difficult times? So manyquestions....so little answers....I wait around hoping that maybe over time some will be answered, cuz I doubt they all will......only time will tell. Because you will never know....until ofcourse you know.

If It means enough to me....it should matter enought to you

I realized, listening to A Day to Remember's song " If it means alot to you", that yea, i do have really strong feelings for this girl. Like nothing i've had in a long while..... there is a small part of me longing and hoping that me and my ex will someday have another chance (but I think my chances have all run out for that one). I ultimately wanna be w/ this girl...she is incredible in more ways than she can see, but I can't tell her because of the repetition of it. I ulimately want some one to tell me, and sometimes just show me that they really care about me. Fuck you I don't care if this makes me look like a bitch, Im really goin through some wierd new shit in my life right now. Cuz i know someone will say, "You sound like a bitch....you don't have a dick, blah blah fuckin blah" Watvs, srry that came out, I'm just going crazy here. I have strong feelings for so many things....I'm being emotionally torn in many peaces. Just from time to time, someone out of know where....give me a hug, tell me you care.... I need some love right now....It would be nice. I'm trying so hard at this moment to hold my self together, but I feel like I'm the only one left to stitch all the peaces....someone wanna grab a needle and thread and wanna maybe help me put this together?....im just gonna go with the flow, not fight the current, and see where everything takes me....we can only hope, and ya never know till ya actually know.

Not love, but with time who knows?

It has been over 3 months since my recent change in relationship status from 'taken' to 'single'. In the earlier times I looked high and low for anyone that I could hold onto, just to give me the attention I was used to for over 2 years. But as time passed and no one was found I began to grow away from that pitiful stretch of emotional abandonment. I went around, not trying hard at all to get a girl's attention, not being sure if I was worth any girl's time. I talked to a few from time to time, small pointless banter between two people of the opposite sex. But with every flirtatious(sp?) experience moment had, it was to no avail, I went my way and she to her own. We walk away in the same position as before we had spoke. No numbers exchange nor plans to see each other again. This went on for some time, not frequent, but often enough to keep my confidence at a steady level. I was on my way to school one Friday evening when I received a txt from a friend whom I haven't spoken to since shortly after graduating. He invited me to a "party" at his house later that night. I knew him, I knew that if I go he will end up getting me to drink, no not soda, alcohol. Before that night alcohol has not touched my lips, well , there's a first for everything, but at first I was very hesitant. What got my attention and ultimately got me to go was the mentioning of a very cute girl I'd had met once before a while back. She wanted someone of the opposite sex to hang out with....well that's where I came in. Well after class I showed up, through out that night I had taken 3 shots of different kinds of vodka, only to get a pretty good buzz, as for the girl and I, we talked a little, but I had to be home by midnight, so nothing happened. But the following night I was invited yet again down his house, this time with a stronger promise for time between her and I. Well, later that Saturday night, after a few drinking games, and a couple shots to loosen(sp?) everyone up a bit we had our time together. It would be TMI if I would tell you what occurred that night, so I won't. But at the end of the night, around 12:45, her and I had to leave, me in my car, and her in hers. As we walked towards our cars we exchanged numbers, in hope to hang out again, I walked her to her car before going to my own. Before getting in her car she turned to me, not saying anything, and gave me one last kiss goodbye. That was like her hook, and it was up to me if I wanted to take a bite of said hook and continue on with what we might have. Well, two days passed before I texted her in hopes for making plans. After time we had things planned out for the following Friday, I was gonna take her out to eat and to the movies. After all of that was said and done we went back to my house, we hung out in my room until my mother came home. Moving forward a week, we had plans again, we were going bowling w/ a few good friends. We had a great time. For the next week we would be texting each other nearly everyday. Moving on to this past Thursday, sept. 24th, we had plans for another date, a show(small concert). The show was at chain reaction in Anaheim, we were going to see my friends' band As Am I. We had a great time, the bands were incredible, As Am I rocked! We were getting really hungry so we left an hour or two early. It was a long drive back to Ontario, but we talked about so much, with every word and moment passed we felt a stronger connection towards each other. So much was learned about one another that night. So much in common, especially on the topic of relationships. Not the relationships themselves but the effect they had on ourselves. We began to connect more and more. Over time I have fallen for her more and more. She is like no one I have never met, she is cute, funny, great sense of humor, couple with a cute laugh and even cuter smile. Especially at this time in my life, I feel as if she is a girl that I need right now, someone to get the parts of my personality out that I normally wouldn't. Its not love, but within time who knows?